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Think think! - Accretions

Fata Morgana
2004-11-19 18:27
Think think!
Public
I returned to my car on Thursday to find a note on it which read, "If you were to pull up a few more feet, someone could park behind you. Think think!" It just so happens that I parked right up to the bumper of a BMW M3 the day before, and found an Altima parked right up to my bumper that evening. Perhaps there was some time in the interim when a few feet were clear in front of me, but apparently the small-minded twit who left the note failed to grasp this possibility.

On a related note, I once received as a gift a small pad of gag parking violations, a few of which I actually used on deserving cars when I worked at the Cal Sailing Club my first summer in Berkeley. They were along the same lines as the note I received, though more humorous and, being printed, more generic. Here's what they said:
This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your Bull Headed [sic], inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. Besides I don't like domineering, egotistical or simple minded drivers, and you probably fit into one of these categories.

I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.) Also, may the Fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.


Finally, on the way home, an SUV tried to nose in ahead of me as their lane merged into mine. I stood my ground, and the SUV merged behind me instead, flashing their brights onto my waiting middle finger. I really need a bumper sticker that reads something like "Keep your oversized gas guzzler behind me - I like to see where I'm going on the road." Or maybe I should try harder to minimize my driving altogether.

Now I'm in Columbus for the Ohio Star Ball. Too bad this wasn't a few weeks earlier or I could have tried to do some canvassing or something. I suppose I could still do something else - any ideas?
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fanlain
fanlain
2004-11-20 09:56 (UTC)
(no subject)
hitting the brakes and forcing the SUV to think 2x about smashing into you (in my case, it's a bigger loss to them) also works. but go middle finger! i also dislike it when SUVs do this and their damn lights suck. i swear the one day it was the SUV that shined it's high beams b/c it was pissed off at me that caused a deer to panic and run across traffic in front of me and smash into the windshield of the car next to me.

i wrote in my police statement that i think the issues with SUVs and their f*ng headlights should be addressed. it's terrible for cars that sit lower with regular lights and even worse when they put on high beams.
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Fata Morgana
chimerically
2004-11-23 08:54 (UTC)
(no subject)
My car has already been totaled (by a bump it received parked next to Cafe Strada - and I was sitting outside and witnessed the whole thing!), so if anyone hits me the loss is mine, unfortunately. :~(
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